STALKING: A Terror Tactic in the War Against Domestic Violence
Wednesday, 15 April 2009
Dennis Robinson, Family Advocacy Program

Domestic violence or domestic abuse may not include the tactic of stalking but the act of stalking constitutes domestic violence and/or abuse. Anti-stalking laws are in all 50 states and the District of Columbia. The definition of stalking has broadened significantly. The National Institute of Justice currently defines stalking as:

The repeated (2 or more times) harassing or threatening behavior such as following a person, appearing at a person’s home or place of business (including surveillance and/or lying-in-wait), leaving nonconsensual written, phone or electronic messages or objects, or vandalizing a person’s property (including the harming or killing of pets), or making credible threats of violence toward either the victim or the victim’s immediate family and whose conduct would constitute an implied threat reasonably causing the person to feel a “fear of bodily harm”.

However, stalking is not the same as spying since the goal is not just to collect information but to terrorize the victim. At some point the victim is made aware they are being stalked. The fear of not knowing what the stalker intends and when their intentions may be acted upon produces an atmosphere of apprehension and fear. Thus, stalking contains an element of control which the stalker desires. The control is one of I (the stalker) controls when, where and how I will stalk you and You (the victim) are powerless to stop me or prevent me from acting when I decide to do so.

Who Are The Victims of Stalkers?

Women out number men 4 to 1 as victims of stalkers. Put another way 1 in every 12 women in the U.S. will be stalked at least once in their life time and 1 in every 45 men will be stalked in their life time. In any given year approximately 1 million women and 400,000 men are victims of a stalker. This male verses female difference is similar across all racial and ethnic groups. No matter whether the victim is male or female young adults are significantly more at risk as the majority of victims (52%) are between the ages of 18-29 and with 22% being between the ages of 30-39. Mature adults and the young are less frequently targets, 15% being 40+ years of age and for those under 18 years of age the percentage being stalked is 11%.

Who Are The Stalkers?

For female victims the most frequent stalker is a spouse/ex-spouse, followed by either a stranger or acquaintance, then either a date/former date or cohabiting partner/ex-partner and finally a relative other than a spouse. On the other hand, male victims are most often stalked by either a stranger or an acquaintance, followed almost equally by a spouse/ex-spouse, a date/ex-date or cohabiting partner/ex-partner, and lastly men will be stalked by a relative other than the spouse.

What Do Stalkers Do?

The most frequent stalking behavior is to follow, spy upon or wait outside the victim’s home or place of business. The stalkers initially may not what to be seen but, with time, they will be seen and almost deliberately so. The second most frequent stalker behavior is making unwanted and repeated phone calls, voice or text messages. However, leaving unwanted letters and/or personal items or the deliberate acts of vandalizing the victim’s property or property jointly owned are the next most often to happen. Finally, and fortunately, the least often seen behavior is threats or to kill an animal or the killing of a family pet. This is a warning of what the stalker intends to happen to victim. It must be taken very seriously.

What To Do If You Believe You Are Being Stalked?

Currently, it is the victim who must provide evidence of being stalked. The stalker does not have to prove they are not stalking. Therefore, the following is suggested:

  1. Get professional assistance, contact the Victim Advocacy Program of The Marine and Family Services Division, Building 129, MCLB. There you will be given tools to collect evidence of being stalked and assistance in developing a Safety Plan to help protect yourself.
  2. Enlist the support of command, family, friends, and co-workers as a source of support and extra eyes and ears in identifying and documenting the presence and activities of a stalker.
  3. Secure a Military Protection Order – MPO, often referred to as a Temporary Restraining Order in the civilian community.
  4. Vary your regular routine of travel, change your shopping habits, drive at different times and use different routes and never find yourself alone with the stalker. Always be around others so as to not be alone.
  5. If the stalker wishes to confront you and it is unavoidable do not engage in aggressive verbal or physical behaviors. Remain calm and inform the stalker that he or she is known and to stop their stalking behavior. Immediately afterward record time, date, place, witnesses (if any) and what was said by the stalker. This form of interaction with a stalker needs to be reported to the law enforcement authorities as soon as possible (a police report is a strong form of documentation).
  6. Change your email address, unlist your phone number, use the caller ID, screen all calls and record the days and times of each of the stalker’s attempts to make contact. Record and keep all voice mails and download all text messages as hard copy records.
  7. Carry a camera, take pictures and note time, day and place.
  8. Keep your personal information confidential. Never give out your social security number and never enter identifying email on the internet.
  9. Harden your living quarters, get solid doors and deadbolts, get motion detector lights and place them out of reach, change locks or re-key locks, trim shrubbery and check the outside of your living quarters before entering and if something seems amiss don’t go inside but call the police to enter or escort you into the house.

For more methods of documenting and protecting yourself, as well as information to the resources available to you, call the Marine and Family Services (760)-577-6533.

Related Articles

You may be interested in the following posts: